Autopen Apocalypse: GOP Declares Biden’s Pardons ‘Void’

The GOP-led Oversight Committee says Biden’s autopen-signed pardons are ‘void.’ Is this a constitutional crisis or just another episode of ‘Capitol Hill: The Reality Show’?

🧠 Cognitive Decline or Political Design?

In a 93-page report that reads like rejected fan fiction from a political thriller subreddit, the GOP-led House Oversight Committee claims President Biden’s autopen-signed pardons are legally invalid. The report alleges Biden’s cognitive decline was so severe, it’s unclear whether he even knew what he was signing. The clemency process, they say, resembled a bureaucratic game of telephone—starting with Biden’s verbal approval and ending with a machine signing off like it was clocking out for lunch.

🖊️ Autopen: The Most Powerful Robot in Washington?

The autopen—a device used to replicate a president’s signature—has been around since the Bush era. In 2005, the DOJ said it was legal, as long as the president authorized its use. But now, the GOP wants to know: Did Biden authorize it, or did someone just hit “print” on democracy?

The committee’s letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi urges her to investigate the legality of these pardons and prosecute aides who invoked the Fifth Amendment. Because nothing says “we’re serious” like going after people who exercised their constitutional rights.

🧾 The Pardon Parade

Biden issued 4,245 acts of clemency—more than any president in history. Among the recipients? His own son, Dr. Fauci, General Milley, and members of the January 6 Committee. Basically, anyone who’s ever made Trump’s blood pressure spike.

Trump’s June 2025 executive order demanded an investigation into “who ran the United States while President Biden was in office.” Which is bold coming from a guy who once tried to buy Greenland.

🧪 The Medical Mystery

The committee also wants the D.C. Board of Medicine to investigate Biden’s former physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor, for allegedly issuing misleading medical reports. After Biden’s rough debate performance, Chief of Staff Jeff Zients suggested a cognitive exam. O’Connor said he’d “take it under advisement,” which is doctor-speak for “I’ll think about it while golfing.”

🗣️ The Rebuttal

Democrats call the investigation a “sham.” Rep. Robert Garcia said every White House official testified that Biden made his own decisions. Biden himself told The New York Times he “made every decision” and preemptively pardoned people to protect them from Trump’s revenge tour.

“Everybody knows how vindictive he is,” Biden said. “So we knew they’d do what they’re doing now.” That’s the political equivalent of saying, “I knew you’d be petty, so I beat you to it.”

📂 Chain of Confusion

The committee’s final section focuses on the lack of documentation around key meetings. Former staffers described the pardon process as “like the prior two administrations,” but the committee wasn’t buying it. They claim the process was so lax, it’s impossible to trace decisions back to Biden himself.

Neera Tanden said she never authorized autopen use without a signature card. Ron Klain said Biden made decisions “orally.” Zients emphasized the rigor of the process, saying Biden spent “many, many meetings” on clemency decisions.

🚨 DOJ Ethics Concerns

According to DOJ ethics attorney Bradley Weinsheimer, 96% of Biden’s clemency acts came in the final three months of his presidency. He warned staff to stop saying they were all for “non-violent offenders,” citing 19 problematic cases—including Marvin Gabrion, convicted of kidnapping and murder.

“I have no idea if the president was aware of these backgrounds,” Weinsheimer wrote. Ed Martin, Trump’s Pardon Attorney, echoed the concern, saying he wouldn’t defend autopen pardons without further investigation.

🏛️ DMV Drama: Local Fallout

In the DMV, the buzz is louder than a Metro train during rush hour. Georgetown Law students are already drafting papers titled “Autopen v. Constitution.” Bethesda brunch tables are debating signature legitimacy. Arlington conspiracy theorists are updating cork boards with red string and autopen schematics.

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These keywords are hotter than a Capitol Hill intern’s LinkedIn profile. DMV bloggers, YouTubers, and podcasters—this is your moment.

🧭 Final Thoughts

Is this a constitutional crisis or just another episode of Capitol Hill: The Reality Show? The GOP says Biden’s presidency was run by a machine. Democrats say the machine was just a tool. And Biden says, “I made every decision.”

In the end, the autopen might be the most controversial piece of office equipment since the shredder in Office Space. Stay tuned, D.C.—this saga is far from over.