Tech Layoffs: DMV Job Market Gets Awkward

Pink Slips and Pumpkin Spice

Tech layoffs are back, and DMV workers are updating LinkedIn like it’s a dating app. Big Tech says it’s restructuring, which is corporate speak for ‘we bought too many beanbags.’

Job seekers flood D.C. coffee shops, networking like their lives depend on it—because they do.

Comedy Bits:

• Imagine a layoff email with a coupon for resume paper.
• Next trend: Networking events with emotional support dogs.

If tech layoffs keep up, D.C. will have more podcasts than jobs.