What Do You Want From Us?
Welcome to the contact page. Or as we like to call it: the digital equivalent of yelling into the void and hoping someone answers with a latte and a podcast deal.
Whether you're a comedy writer in Bethesda, a podcaster in Arlington, or just someone in D.C. who accidentally clicked this link while Googling “how to get out of jury duty,” we’re glad you’re here.
📬 General Inquiries (aka “The Inbox of Mystery”)
Email us at: whatdoyouwant@nkahoot.com
Subject line suggestions:
- I Have a Question and Possibly a Lawsuit
- Can I Be Funny Too?
- I’m Just Here for the Free Wi-Fi
We check our inbox every time Mercury is in retrograde, or when we accidentally open Gmail instead of TikTok.
🎭 Sketch Submissions (aka “Send Us Your Weird”)
Got a sketch idea involving a talking crab from Chesapeake Bay who runs for mayor of Alexandria? Good. We want it.
Submission Guidelines:
- Keep it under 3 pages unless it’s a musical. Then we’ll pretend to read it.
- Must include at least one reference to the DMV area (bonus points for Metro jokes).
- No AI-generated scripts unless the AI is also funny and unionized.
Send to: whatdoyouwant@nkahoot.com
Subject line: “Sketch Submission: Crab Mayor 2025”
🎙️ Podcast & Media Requests (aka “Put Us on Your Show, Cowards”)
If you’re a podcaster, journalist, or YouTuber looking to feature Nkahoot or one of our writers, we’re flattered. And suspicious. But mostly flattered.
We’re available for:
- Interviews about comedy writing in the DMV
- Satirical takes on current events
- Dramatic readings of HOA bylaws
- Late-night style segments for your show
Contact: whatdoyouwant@nkahoot.com
Subject line: “We Want Your Voice, Not Your Soul”
🧵 Collaboration Requests (aka “Let’s Make Something Weird Together”)
Are you a brand, blogger, or content creator in the DMV looking to add some spice to your content? We specialize in:
- Satirical essays
- Sketch-style blog posts
- Monologue joke packets
- Segment writing for newsletters
- Punch-up for your existing content
Reach out via: whatdoyouwant@nkahoot.com
Subject line: “Let’s Get Weird (Professionally)”
🧨 What We Don’t Want
- Your screenplay about a haunted DMV (unless it’s the Department of Motor Vehicles, then yes)
- Investment opportunities in your cousin’s crypto comedy club
- Anything involving clowns. We’re still recovering from 2016.
🧭 Local DMV Flavor
We’re proudly rooted in the DMV area, which means:
- We know how to pronounce “Takoma” correctly.
- We’ve written jokes about the Red Line delays.
- We once did a sketch entirely in Old Bay seasoning.
If you’re local, let us know! We love featuring regional talent and hosting pop-up comedy events in places like:
- Adams Morgan dive bars
- Arlington coworking spaces
- Annapolis parking lots (don’t ask)
🧹 Final Thoughts (aka “We’re Probably Already Overthinking Your Message”)
Look, we get it. Reaching out is hard. But we promise we’ll read your message, laugh at it (hopefully), and maybe even respond with something coherent.
So go ahead. Hit send. What do you want from us?