Ozempic Shortage in Maryland: The Skinny Pill That’s Too Popular for Its Own Good

Ozempic, the diabetes drug turned weight-loss miracle, is harder to find in Maryland than a parking spot in Adams Morgan on a Friday night. Pharmacies from Bethesda to Baltimore are reporting shortages, and the DMV is collectively panicking—because apparently, we’d rather inject ourselves with semaglutide than eat fewer bagels.

Why the Shortage?

Blame TikTok, celebrity endorsements, and that one coworker who suddenly dropped 30 pounds and won’t shut up about it. Ozempic’s off-label use for weight loss has exploded, and now actual diabetics are stuck playing pharmacy bingo.

DMV Reactions

• In Silver Spring, a woman tried to trade her Taylor Swift tickets for a single dose.
• A man in Arlington started a black-market Ozempic ring out of his CrossFit gym.
• And in D.C., someone launched a GoFundMe titled “Help Me Stay Skinny for My Georgetown Reunion.”

Doctors are warning that the shortage could have serious consequences for patients who actually need the drug. Meanwhile, influencers are posting “Ozempic hauls” like it’s Sephora.

Alternatives?

Some Maryland clinics are offering compounded versions, but they come with side effects like nausea, fatigue, and existential dread. Others are turning to Wegovy, Mounjaro, or just good old-fashioned self-loathing.

Final Thoughts

Ozempic is the latest miracle drug to become a social media casualty. If you’re in the DMV and looking for it, good luck—your best bet might be befriending a pharmacist or bribing your way into a clinical trial. Or, you know, maybe just eat a vegetable.