A satirical deep dive into the slow death of business accountability in the DMV area. From ghosting customer service bots to products built to break, we explore the absurdity of modern commerce—with jokes, data, and a smart thermostat that judges you.
Popular weight loss drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy are now being linked to sudden vision loss. That’s right—your dream of shedding pounds might come with a side of “Where did the world go?” Welcome to the DMV’s latest health horror story, where your kale smoothie is looking at you like, “Told you so.”
The Washington Commanders are entering the 2025–2026 NFL season with a new playbook, a new attitude, and—if rumors are true—a functioning offensive line. From preseason hype to postgame heartbreak, here’s your full comedic breakdown of what to expect from D.C.’s most emotionally exhausting sports franchise.
Novo Nordisk and Dayforce led the charge in Monday’s stock market chaos, proving once again that Wall Street is just a very expensive mood ring. Here’s a comedic breakdown of the biggest movers, the wild theories behind them, and why your portfolio might need therapy.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is back in Washington, D.C., meeting with Donald Trump in a diplomatic sequel nobody saw coming. From military aid to MAGA hats, this satirical breakdown explores the high-stakes, high-drama, and high-weirdness of the latest White House reunion.
August 2025’s economy is giving off strong “meh” vibes—rising prices, cautious optimism, and a job market that wants you to be a coder-barista-therapist. September’s forecast? Mild turbulence with a chance of pumpkin spice. Dive into this satirical breakdown of what’s happening, what’s next, and why your oat milk costs $7.
In August 2025, the International Finance Corporation (IFC) is busy saving the world—one solar panel, startup lease, and women’s empowerment course at a time. Whether it’s funding billion-dollar factories or teaching entrepreneurs how to hustle, IFC continues its mission to make capitalism look like a humanitarian effort.
Apple’s iOS 18.6.1 brings back Blood Oxygen monitoring—but only on your iPhone. Users react with praise, complaints, and memes. Here’s the full story.
From lizard people in Congress to secret tunnels under Tysons Corner, we explore the wild world of conspiracies and fringe theories with a comedic lens. Warning: May cause side effects like laughter, skepticism, and Googling “Is my neighbor a CIA plant?”
