🎓 Welcome to the Campus of Controversy

If you’ve been anywhere near a university lately—physically, emotionally, or just scrolling through your cousin’s Facebook rant—you’ve probably seen the phrase “DEI” tossed around like a frisbee at a liberal arts quad...

🧠 DEI: The Acronym That Launched a Thousand Thinkpieces

• Diversity: “We hired someone who doesn’t look like the admissions brochure.”
• Equity: “We’re trying to fix 400 years of injustice with a 90-minute workshop.”
• Inclusion: “We added a rainbow sticker to the vending machine and called it progress.”

🏛️ University Presidents: The New Action Heroes

“We will not apologize for our DEI policies.”

Translation: “We spent $2 million on a DEI task force and we’re not giving the money back.”

📚 Real DEI Moments That Sound Like Satire

• A university held a “DEI Town Hall” where only tenured faculty spoke...
• One school launched a DEI initiative called “Voices of Inclusion,” featuring a panel of five white men...
• A college president defended DEI by citing their own experience as a first-generation Ivy League graduate...

🏛️ The Political Plot Twist: DEI Goes to Washington

DEI isn’t just a campus issue—it’s a political football...

🧃 Satirical Solutions: Rebranding DEI for the Masses

• Campus Harmony Initiative
• Fairness & Friendship Program
• Operation Everyone Chill

🧑‍🎓 Students React: “Can I Just Get My Degree?”

While presidents are busy defending DEI like it’s the last slice of pizza at a faculty mixer...

🧾 Final Credits: The Real Joke Is How We Got Here

In the end, the DEI debate is less about policy and more about identity...