DMV Commute Chaos—Self-Driving Cars Now Stuck in Beltway Traffic Like the Rest of Us

Remember when tech companies promised self-driving cars would end traffic jams? Yeah, about that. Today in the DMV, autonomous vehicles are stuck in Beltway gridlock like the rest of us—proving that even robots can’t escape the soul-crushing reality of I-495.

According to Washington Post (https://www.washingtonpost.com/transportation/self-driving-cars-dc-2025/), self-driving cars are being tested across Washington D.C., Maryland, and Virginia. The goal? Reduce congestion and accidents. The reality? These cars are sitting in traffic, tweeting passive-aggressive messages like, “Calculating alternate route… still calculating.”

Companies like Waymo and Tesla have rolled out pilot programs in Arlington and Bethesda. But DMV drivers report seeing autonomous vehicles stuck behind a Metrobus, flashing their hazard lights like they’re crying for help.

**Why It Matters**
Transportation innovation impacts DMV commuters, businesses, and anyone who spends half their life on the Beltway. Reuters projects autonomous vehicles could reduce accidents by 90%—if they ever move (https://www.reuters.com/technology/self-driving-cars-us-2025-12-01/).

**Closing Punchline**
If self-driving cars can’t beat Beltway traffic, maybe teleportation should be next on the agenda. Until then, enjoy your robot Uber stuck behind a minivan with a “Baby on Board” sticker.