NFL Week 3, 2025 was a masterclass in chaos, comebacks, and questionable coaching. From the Dolphins’ dominance to the Commanders’ defensive meltdown, here’s your satirical recap—plus AFC and NFC standings graphs that prove math is just pain in chart form.
Week 1 of the 2025 NFL season came in hot with rookie breakouts, veteran breakdowns, and enough overreactions to fill a stadium. Here’s your full comedic breakdown of who won, who lost, and what we think will happen next (spoiler: we’re probably wrong).