INTRO: The Law According to Trump
If the Constitution were a buffet, Donald Trump would be the guy piling shrimp on his plate while arguing that dessert counts as a vegetable. In 2025, Trump’s legal strategy is less “strict interpretation” and more “creative remix.” He’s issuing executive orders like they’re tweets, rolling back regulations like they’re expired coupons, and using federal funding as a carrot—or a stick—depending on the day.
1. Executive Orders: The Presidential Cheat Code
Prescription Drug Pricing Order
In May 2025, Trump signed an executive order aimed at slashing prescription drug prices. He claimed prices would drop “almost immediately,” but the order was light on specifics and heavy on political theater.
Legal Basis: The order uses the Spending Clause of the Constitution, which gives Congress (and by extension, the executive branch) control over federal funds. Trump’s team argues that withholding funds is a lawful way to influence policy. Punchline: It’s like saying, “I’m not grounding you, I’m just taking away your allowance until you stop being vaccinated.” Punchline: Trump’s legal strategy is like a magician’s act—lots of smoke, mirrors, and “Ta-da! It’s constitutional!” While legal experts dissect the fine print, Trump floods the media with bold claims, outrageous tweets, and rally soundbites. This tactic distracts from the legal nuances and keeps the public focused on the spectacle. Example: While legal scholars debated the EPA rollback, Trump was busy tweeting about “clean coal” and “beautiful air.” Punchline: It’s like yelling “Look! A UFO!” while quietly signing a bill to defund the EPA. Though not confirmed in 2025, Trump’s past use of presidential pardons suggests he might be warming up for another round. Preemptive pardons for allies, campaign staff, or even himself have been floated as “just in case” legal shields. Legal Basis: The Constitution gives the president broad pardon powers—except in cases of impeachment. It’s a legal nuke that’s hard to challenge. Punchline: Trump’s pardon list might soon include his barber, his golf caddy, and the guy who invented Diet Coke. Trump’s second term is a masterclass in legal maneuvering. He’s not breaking the law—he’s just playing Twister with it. From executive orders to regulatory rollbacks, his administration is using every tool in the legal shed to push policy, stir controversy, and keep the spotlight firmly on himself. Final Punchline: Trump’s presidency isn’t illegal—it’s just legally exhausting. Like trying to play chess with someone who insists the knight moves in a circle. Sources:
4. The “Technically Legal” Playbook
5. The “Media Misdirection Maneuver”
6. The “Pardon Pre-Game” Strategy
CONCLUSION: The Legally Blonde Presidency, Part II